Nichole Jackson
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101 – descriptive paragraph (subjective)
August 25, 2009
Jeremy
His hair is long, hanging past his shoulders in a mix of soft and silken chocolate and black waves, the result of an impulse (but pleasing) dye-job we decided on. The top of it is always hidden by a black knit beanie, concealing a receding hairline surprising for someone only twenty-one years old. His face is, simply put, kind; when he smiles it is wide and with his entire face. The brown eyes he sees the world through are larger than those of most men his age, brighter and more sincere. For someone who listens to fast thumping heavy metal and watches contact sports on ESPN all day, he is remarkably sweet and docile. Black shirts with the names of his favorite heavy metal bands paired with well-worn cargo pants are his daily attire, rarely changing much but suiting him perfectly nonetheless. He smells of laundry detergent most days, though on occasion he hastily sprays a manly, musk fragrance on his tee shirt before getting out of his car. His voice is somewhere in the middle of the spectrum (not too deep, but far from high in pitch), with a very slight southern drawl one would only notice if they weren’t from the South.
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From an outsiders point of view it's obvious your purpose is to describe someone you care a lot for. Nobody goes into such thorugh detail unless the subject is very integral in their life. The use of too many adjectives might upset the blance of the paper.
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